The problem with abstinence

A Young couple wanted to join their local church, the pastor told them,
"We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain
from sex for one whole month"

 The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the
Church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was
crying and the husband was obviously very depressed. "You are back so
soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired. "We are terribly
ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the
required month". The young man replied sadly. The pastor asked him what happened.

 "Well, the first week was difficult......However, we managed to abstain
through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use
of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was
unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the
Bible...anything to keep our minds off Carnal Thoughts".

 "One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When
she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my
way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex.
It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched
in sweat," admitted the man, shamefacedly.

 The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, "You understand this means
you will not be welcome in our church".

 "We know" said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome at
Builders Warehouse either"

Economic Stimulus Analogy.........

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea . It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.

The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business today and the main reason that the rest of the world is now messed up!

Kom in Zero Bravo

Old, but still funny

Att00007


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